


DLM is dating /Who/?!

by cryptive



Series: beauty guru/ former disney child star [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Because I Said So!, M/M, beauty guru Draco, former disney child star harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26149801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptive/pseuds/cryptive
Summary: who would have thought that draco would meet someone bigger than life thats harry /part of everyone's childhood/ potter. and even more absurdly? they are dating? wow...draco how come you get to break the internet...
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: beauty guru/ former disney child star [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898932
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	DLM is dating /Who/?!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [melancholicpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholicpie/gifts).



> hello! i took my sweet sweet time to crosspost this from my tumblr but its okay cuz its here now!  
> it all started when i saw this post https://melancholic-pie.tumblr.com/post/181221336998/im-in-dying-need-of-fic-recs?is_related_post=1  
> and then we became friends! ily bb 
> 
> (also yes its a bit messy but its ok! i had fun writing and that's what is important!)
> 
> disclaimer for harry potter fanfics that i think is important: death of author!

1.

somewhere around August, some perceptive fans of beauty guru and social media babe DLM would have noticed that his fall lookbook video had a bit of a change in editing style and videography. but none too alarming. he was serving looks and they were absolutely stunning. thigh high boots and oversized peacoat. cozy sweater and even cozier fur stoles (ethically sourced of course). but also he was serving editing skills and flair.

around the same time some of his Instagram photos also felt rather different…in a good way.

but none too notable until draco malfoy’s first ever smiling Instagram photoset. (with the caption: my love, hot green tea. 😝🍵 travel mug available at shopdlm.com)

decked in the coziest oversized cocoa and cream colour blocked sweater, complete with sweater paws as seen from his outstretched hands to receive his travel mug. not smirking, not expensive laughing. but bright and genuine.

the smile of draco malfoy _bitch face extrodinaire_ , made #dracomalfoykingofsmiling a trending tag

there was also another trending tag, which was focused on another notable point of the photo. the reflection of the photographer in draco’s round, black rimmed glasses. #whoisdracolookingat trended while fans needled over the picture, analysing every speck for a clue.

alas, the blurry figure doesnt reveal much and eventually it got brushed off by the next news cycle.

2.

somewhere around October, Draco Malfoy released his halloween makeup looks and various other seasonally appropriate content. on the day however, he dressed up as the main character from Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (you know, the iconic Disney series that everyone watched?), complete with a cape, wand, a plush owl and realistic looking lighting scarring on the face.

the outfit was featured in photoset taken at what seems like a halloween party with a bunch of friends. it was lowkey and looked more like a scary movie marathon with alcohol. the caption was a cheeky “its not elaborate but the cape warm and cozy so its a win tbh. also hogwarts was totally the best disney show out there and they shouldnt have cancelled it after two seasons. i only speak facts. 🐸☕ #halloweenparty #notgoingout #iamgettingold ”

it was two 3am insta-stories that sparked a wave in the fandom.

it was a series of dark and mildy shaky video of draco with the background noise of quietly suspenseful music.

“hey everyone, happy halloween. we are halfway through the movie marathon and im rather smashed cause pansy -you alcoholic bitch- spiked the punch way too heavily. oh fuck im running out of-”

“anyways i wanted to show u guys how great my costume is cause look i now have a cute guy snoozing on me and he’s so cozy…like a little cozy kitten…aww”

and that got a larger splash than #whoisdracolookingat

everyone was buzzing about #dracoslittlecozykitten trying to figure out the guy’s identity and pestering draco to spill the beans.

draco just responded to the whole fiasco with a slightly shady tweet.

“there are 3Ps that I think about all the time: Privacy, Patience and Penis. I think they are really important. 💁♂️ Anyways, keep your paws off #MYlittlecozykitten”

and that was that on that.

3.

there was no updates on the front of whether draco was dating anyone or the identity of who draco might be dating for a while until December, Christmas Eve to be exact.

it was a selfie on draco’s insta story, taken at an arms length, and it just barely fits the massive fluffy black and green plush dragon that draco is holding with his other arm. draco looks mildly bewildered but also like he had cried just a while ago. (his eyeliner stayed strong and did not budged a bit despite the slight redness and puffiness.)

the photo also had the text sticker that said: i was having a panic attack and just crying after a terrible phonecall and my boyfriend just put this on my lap??? where did he get this??? ??

and in a smaller text sticker: we are at his parent’s and i think i saw his dad slowly backing out if the room to give me some privacy?? very good dad there 10/10

and 5 minutes later, draco adds another photo to his insta story of someone facing away from draco, in a modest but homey kitchen. he is wearing what seems to be a reindeer onesie with the hood up to show that it has upright antlers. the text sticker wrote: now he’s making me hot chocolate with marshmallows? ?? ? he is actually the best????

and then at 12am on twitter: merry christmas everyone. i think this is the best christmas i have ever had. ♡

the consensus in the fandom is that no, no one knows the identity of the mystery man or what he looks like, but his shoulders are in fact Very Broad and He is Precious.

4.

Draco took a break from the internet after christmas up until early february with just on and off tweets about catching up on tv shows (game of thrones), riding horses (very fancy ) and drafting his new years plan (new merch, a few secret projects, and some events he will be attending)

He then proceeds to attempt breaking the internet by announcing who his mystery boyfriend is through the (now outdated) Chapstick Challenge. It is to be noted that, draco, for full dramatic effect, initially titled the video My 5 Favourite Chapsticks before adding (aka Chapstick Challenge with my BF) 24 hours later.

“hello and welcome to the new year. i know its a bit of a chill video to start off the year but ive decided that thats the vibe im going for this year.” draco starts, forcing himself, to keep calm and not burst into excited squeal. but his big reveal is standing just off camera looking adorable and Hot.

“I was just thinking that lips are important and i have a few recommendations on how to keep them soft. but to make sure its truly the best, I have my boyfriend here to help me try out my favourite chapsticks so you know which are the best in case of a smooching!” Draco pats spot on the sofa beside him.

And former disney star on Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Harry Potter sits down.

As the lingo goes, puberty hit him like a truck. 23 year old Harry Potter still has the bit of wild hair (though its on trend now) and the deep green eyes, but he also now has a jawline that could cut diamonds and shoulders that fill out the YoungMindsUK tshirt that he is wearing (and biceps that strains the shirt sleeves but thats not the point)

There were some awkward adjusting and quiet laughing that Draco couldnt bring himself to cut out during editing.

“Hello, Glammers-” Harry starts only for Draco to burst into giggles.

“Oh honey…no…” Draco says.

“No Glammers? What do you call your viewers? I think Glammers is a good name. ‘Cause you do glam stuffs. Right?” Harry tries to explain while Draco tries to keep it together.

“I call them Little Dragons.” Draco explains, “'Cause you know, Draco, and they are like my little proteges.”

“No Glammers?”

“No Glammers.”

“You heard it here first everyone, No Glammers.” Harry says sternly to the camera while making a banner motion with this hands. “Can you edit in a little banner thats says No Glammers?”

“Yeah I can do that. Also its been like 10 minutes, we need to get to the point.” Draco says, shaking the little basket of Chapsticks. “You know how this goes right?”

“We kiss a few times in front of the camera?”

“Yeah well thats basically it.” Draco shrugs.

And they kiss a few times in front of the camera for about 20 minutes. Draco had to cut a few parts here and there. Just a few insignificant parts that are of no importance like the part where he got a bit handsy and was inching onto harry’s lap or that part where he kissed harry’s neck and harry squeaked.

It breaks the internet a bit.

#HarryPotterIsSeenAgain and #GayMagicIsReal were trending for a bit after the video was posted.

People were happy, surprised, shocked (in a good way) and slightly envious.

And many fanfiction were written.

Draco had to distract Harry from the internet for a bit so they camped out in bed and Netflix…and follow up on those bits that didnt make it into the video.

5.

A week later, a day after valentine’s day, draco posts another video on his channel titled Boyfriend Does My Valentine’s Day Makeup.

“Hello my precious Little Dragons. You can see the title. I’m barefaced. You know what’s going to happen and I promise to not troll anyone. I have Harry with me again and let’s get to it.” Draco starts, before turning towards Harry. “Where do you want to begin?”

“The foundation…and thats this bottle.” Harry says, picking up the glass bottle from the desk. He tries to gauge Draco’s expression.

“Are you sure?” Draco tries to throw Harry off.

Harry squints and grabs a beauty blender, “I have approximate knowledge of makeup-y things.”

He doesn’t wet the beauty blender though and Draco winces slightly at the amount of product that is probably getting wasted. And also at the bits where the coverage is a bit uneven.

“Do you want to answer some questions that people have been asking?” Draco asks while Harry chooses a contour palette.

“Sure!” Harry finds a shimmery contour palette and seems satisfied with it. Draco bites his tongue to not correct Harry that thats actually a nude eyeshadow palette. “I think i kinda know what people are asking.”

“Yeah? You want to try guessing the questions?” Draco asks while Harry evaluates using the beauty blender with the foundation still on it.

“Okay. First question: Where have you been?” Harry guesses, and picks a medium sized brush that is a bit too large for the tiny trays. Draco nods. “Well, short answer: growing up. Long answer: school, therapy for a few things but mainly anxiety, got a degree in child psychology, got a job with the degree, im doing my masters now and mildly regretting it.”

Draco nods. “Still working on that paper huh? How’s it coming?”

“Let’s not talk about my paper.” Harry deflects with a grimace. “How am I doing so far?”

“Eh, not bad. I’ll be wearing the look you did to dinner later, you know that right?” Draco tries teasing Harry, while Harry evaluates his job on contouring, which is a bit faint and make Draco look rather shimmery.

Harry hums, “Yeah sure. I have no problems with that whatsoever.”

“Uh huh…Next question?”

“Um…How did we met?”

The video went slightly longer than usual, almost grazing the 30 minutes mark only because Harry tried 3 different lip product and then did the “Kiss Test” (which Draco doesnt want to edit out but is not complaining about) before settling on a matte liquid lipstick that is smudge-proof. Draco ended up with an all red look with an abundance of shimmer.

“I’d give you a 5/10. Good effort but an odd aesthetic for a casual dinner.” Draco comments after Harry is done with the lips. But also because he was mildly afraid what would happen if Harry finds a highlight palette.

“What?! No i should get a 7/10 at least! The aesthetic is unprecedented! Its dark and sultry and hot.” Harry exclaims while laughing. “You look like a snacc. With two C’s.”

“The only snack i look like is a hot cheeto, babe. and i need to stop this madness before you come out with any weird ideas.”

“i love a good hot cheeto though.”

“yeah i know you do. thats all for this week. comment like subscribe for more cheeto content and all my social media handles and products used are in the description box. see you when i see you, bye.”

and that was the semi-official update on The Harry Potter. He has anxiety and decided to leave the media spotlight, changed his major twice, now works with a few charity organisations and met draco at London Pride Afterparty.

He also thinks social media is really difficult to use and thats why he doesnt have any public account but he appreciates people asking after him even after so many years.

Oh and Harry Potter is a dork and wants waffles and ice cream for dinner.

Draco later posts a video on his insta story with Harry trying to spread strawberry ice cream onto his waffle and the camera zooming in on Harry while Draco says “what the fuck are you doing?” between ungraceful wheezes.

+1

By popular request, draco puts out a video titled “putting (grunge) makeup on my boyfriend” somewhere around april.

it was a hit.

harry potter looks hot in a dark smokey eye and bright red lipstick.

unfortunately some of said red lipstick got onto draco’s bedsheet not too long after draco switches off the camera. but no worries draco added an extra pillow to cover it up.

harry also did a puppy interview with buzzfeed in may on behalf of mental health awareness month.

it is adorable and Two puppies fell asleep in his jacket.

Draco was not okay when he watched the video and neither was a bunch of people on the internet.


End file.
